If you clicked on this article, there’s probably something really weighing on you in your 20s. The first heartbreak, uncertainty about your career or future, dissolving friendships, the loss of the innocent trust and love you had as you got to know people… Does it sound familiar? Probably. For me and most of my friends, the transition from childhood to adulthood during our 20s has been the most painful period. But at least knowing that we’re not alone in experiencing these feelings and events is comforting. I wrote this article to support you if you are going through the uncertainty and painful times of your 20s. I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned about this and some resources that I think might be helpful.

Let’s Do The Introduction with the Alice in Wonderland and White Rabbit Trend

Recently, you may have seen the trend of The White Rabbit on TikTok. Here, people use the metaphor of the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland forcibly pulling Alice away from her familiar life to reach reality. In Alice in Wonderland, the white rabbit actually takes Alice from her accustomed life to an unknown world, representing the transition from childhood to adulthood. Most people feel this change sharply in their 20s. For you, this may have come in the form of a heartbreak, an unexpected fall in your career, losing a loved one, or facing responsibilities you thought you couldn’t handle. Meeting the white rabbit may have devastated you, making you question all your beliefs about life. At least that’s how it was for me, and I was very unhappy for a period. However, there is a beautiful side to the collapse of everything we know, every belief we hold, and the idea that life will always be beautiful. Now, we have the opportunity to rebuild our beliefs about life, our values, and ourselves, with dedication, by striving to understand life more deeply and accepting that change is a part of life.

Books, Movies, and Podcasts about the age of 20s

Understanding that we are going through this process together and learning about others’ experiences, reading their insights has been very helpful to me. I also wanted to share with you the things that I love to read, watch, and listen to on the subject.

-Podcast: The Psychology of Your 20’s

This podcast discusses complex topics such as the difficulties of making friends in your 20s, identity crises, soulmates, love, grief, and belonging to society. I find it very enjoyable to listen to; even if you don’t agree with what’s being said, it prompts you to think more deeply about your own experiences related to the topic. I love taking small notes about the subject on my phone while listening to this podcast.

-Movie: Soul

This film is not actually a classic coming-of-age movie, but I’ve witnessed that many people who feel lost in their 20s, myself included, love this film. If you’re wondering what the purpose of life is or what you’re doing, you’ll definitely love it, and I’m sure it will touch you and help you think about this.

-Book: I’m Glad My Mom Died-Jennette Mccurdy

Honestly, I haven’t read many books in the “memoir/autobiography” genre before. However, I wanted to read it because the title caught my interest, the book suddenly became very popular, and most importantly, I realized that it was written by an actor I was familiar with from Nickelodeon when I was young. There’s not really a classic theme of entering one’s 20s; I don’t think that’s its purpose or main idea. However, it beautifully illustrates the importance and difficulty of breaking free from the goals and ambitions imposed by others or society, and I’m sure you’ll find things that will truly impact you during a time like your 20s. It was one of the best books I’ve read this year.

Activities You Can Do by Yourself

-Journaling

Keeping a journal, which has become a part of our lives thanks to elementary school assignments, is one of the best habits we can adopt to understand what happens to us and to make connections between events. I know it’s very popular everywhere, especially among people our age. I believe the reason for this is that taking a break from screens and trying to make connections just by writing feels good for all of us. It truly helps in reidentifying and understanding oneself. To make it easier to start journaling, you can use “journaling prompts,” which are questions or starter sentences that facilitate your writing, but I think the easiest method is to take 3 minutes each day to write down everything that’s on your mind, knowing that no one will see it, without imposing any rules on yourself or your writing. You definitely see connections, experiences, and thoughts more clearly when you write them down that you might not have noticed before.

-Experience more on your own

We always think that the traumas and pains we experience are very important and that every bad experience greatly impacts our lives and the world. It is true that these experiences lead to significant changes in our lives, but realizing that there is a world beyond what we’ve experienced, trauma, and pain is, I believe, an important part of healing. As we encounter different experiences, try new things on our own, and explore the vastness of the universe, the world, and the diversity of people and nature, we actually come to recognize that we are just a speck of dust in this enormous universe and that there is much more to discover. Beyond the order you’ve established, the dreams you’ve set, your relationships, and your good and bad memories, there are countless experiences, new people, and new dreams awaiting discovery. The more we learn, travel, and experience, the more we realize how little we know. That’s why you should embark on that journey, research the new subject you want to learn about, visit that café you haven’t been to before, and give a chance to a movie you haven’t watched or an event you haven’t attended.

I hope this comes in front of people in their 20s like me who regularly get lost, find their way back, get lost again, find their way again, and occasionally get tired ❤