Hello everyone! I hope that you are doing great. I started to get used to this place as I am writing regularly. I am trying to visit the blogs of you who like/visit my posts to see what your interests are and get inspiration from my fellow bloggers. I feel like there are lots of like-minded people and we are becoming friends through our blogs.

And since we are talking about friendships, I want to talk about something that I find very difficult: Forming relationships in your 20s, especially friendships.

I have always been in groups of friends in school, but since I started uni, I have found it harder to form strong friendships with people around me. I have realized that it is a common problem for people my age. Actually, I have seen that it is a common problem for people above the age of 20.

I have realized that it is not a problem of just me; it is a normal part of growing up. We have much distinct personalities as we grow up, and it is harder to find someone to connect with on a deeper level especially when we have limited places to find friends. On top of that we grow apart from our childhood friends because we move to different places and have different paths in life.

But that’s okay, and I believe there are still things that we can do to form close friendships and keep our old ones as we age. And in this blog, I want to talk about that.

-An Exercise That I Tried To Reflect on My Relationships

I believe journaling can be a solution to anything. And over the years, and after years of morning pages, I decided to journal about my relationships with my own journaling prompts. I realized that in some of my relationships, I felt like we have unspoken problems and I wanted to reflect on them. I don’t know if it will work for everyone, but I found them very helpful and I wanted to share them with you.

• Do I have any negative feelings or thoughts about that person? If yes, what are they?
• What do I love about that person?
• Does that person do anything that negatively affects our relationship?
• What does the person do that positively impacts our relationship?
• Do I do anything that negatively affects our relationship?
• What do I do that positively impacts our relationship?
• What can I do to improve our relationship? For example, opening a conversation about our behaviors that harm the relationship.

Feel free to share additional journaling prompts that you think could help improve relationships.

-A Well-being App With a Section for Relationships: Smiling Mind

I think I mentioned the Smiling Mind app before. It’s a well-being app with many meditations and activities. They recently updated the app and added a new section for relationships. There are lots of helpful activities to deepen connections with loved ones. I found it very helpful and wanted to share it with you. Here is the link for the app.

-Make New Friends

In the first two parts of this article, we talked about ways to improve our already existing relationships. Now, I want to talk more about how to make new friendships as an adult, which is the hardest part of being an adult for me. As a young adult, we have different perceptions of the world at uni, and it feels hard to connect with someone you don’t feel the same way towards the world. It is hard to build deep connections at work because sometimes there are conflicts of interest in the workplace. Other than work/uni, we have limited places to socialize, and it is challenging to form deep connections. I have thought about this issue a lot and found a few solutions for myself. I am not sure if this works for anyone other than me, but I wanted to share it. I thought that at least, if you are in the same situation as me, you won’t feel alone.

First solution is focusing on my hobbies and interests, but not in a let’s isolate myself in a room to read about art history for hours way. This sounds very tempting for me, but I decided to push myself and look out for workshops about arts in my city. It is easier to talk to someone who has the same interest as you. I didn’t form a deep connection with someone from the workshops I attended yet, but I made a few acquaintances and chatted with different people. It felt great.

Apart from hobbies, I decided to find friends who have the same interests/work as me. I work in a few international organizations for education/health rights. I like advocacy work and being in the field, but I rarely see people I work with in the real world. That’s why I decided to spend more time in local charities/organizations. It helped me to find new friends who are passionate about the same topics as I am.

And my second solution for people who are spending a lot of time at work like me is to be more open to small talk. I used to think that small talk with people about the weather is uncomfortable for both sides and it’s just a way to make it less awkward in the silence. I don’t know what changed my opinion, but now I try to engage more in small talks with people I am not very familiar with at work. I like to talk about a recent movie, events that happened in our city, or ask them questions about their work. Now I have more people to smile and say hello to every day, and it makes it easier to form connections after having small talk. I work as a final year medical student in a very large hospital, so this solution works for me every day because I see new people quite often. I am not sure if this solution will work for someone working in a small office, but I wanted to share it.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this week’s article as much as I did. I still didn’t figure out everything about relationships. But I am proud of myself for trying, and I just wanted to let my readers know that they are not alone if they feel like me. Relationships are confusing, especially if you are in your early 20s. But we are in this together, at least I try to see it like that. I hope you have a great week where you find few opportunities to engage with new people. And lastly, an activity idea for this week: Send a thank you message to a friend or family member and show them your gratitude. It’s thoughtful and emotional way to help you open a conversation about your relationship.